Take back the fierceness

I’ve been following the social media accounts of many strong women. They are inspiring, so much passion and fierceness. Sometimes I think “I used to be like that, what happened?” After much pondering I’ve decided I don’t want to say that anymore. I’ve decided to take back my fierceness.

I know part of it was age. As I got older I lost a bit of fire. And that was good. I used to have a bit too much passion and it was an out of control wildfire. I wouldn’t take the time to actually think through what was coming out of my mouth, I didn’t do my research fully, and I let mama bear drive my emotions. I slowed down in my late 20s- 30s and got my emotional feet under me. I am happy with that change.

The other part was dealing with the judgement and discrimination when I moved to the USA. Suddenly, I was considered too inappropriate, too loud, too strange, I showed too much skin, I  had crazy hair… so many things. I let it wear me down. Part of that was my stubborn nature, I was like “Well fine, I’ll be boring” but I got over that. Part of it was dealing with a totally different community than I was used to. I am someone who adapts, so I tried to blend in more to the people I was meeting. The midwest is more conservative than the west coast and so some of my flamboyant nature was stamped down.

I was put through an emotional trial with some stuff that went on in our life. I struggled to fit in, I let fear run my brain with all this crazy immigration shit and politics.

A month ago I had a realization. I’m never going to fully fit in with the pagan community here. I come from different roots and I am tired of trying to find my tribe. I’m at a point in my life where I know what is important to me. I know how I like to worship.  I’ve been walking this religious path for over 22 years. I don’t need a group to validate me.

That realization was freeing. Along with that I realized I need to go back to my fierceness for my family. I need to be strong and powerful to teach my son how to exist in this fucked up world. I need to go back to being the crazy soul who dances in the grocery store. I need to show him how to live life with passion and joy. That means I need to get back to my roots to be me fully.

I am embracing my nature. I am one of those super positive people who believes in other people. I am a cheerleader. I like to support others. I know that in the world today people like me are  thought to be too fake, there is a mindset that we are only pretending to be supportive so that we can look good. This isn’t true. I really am a person who likes to lift others up. I enjoy saying “yes, you are awesome! you are beautiful!” The problem is, I get drained. People will use me up to feel good and then toss me aside.

So I have learned to put limits on my support. I need to take care of me as well.  Now I’m going to say “Hey, I need my own time and space.”  When I can, I’ll be back to support in ways that don’t drain me dry.

I also used to post about all sorts of magick, meditations, dreams and the awesome spiritual stuff I was going through. I had to stop because of some “life stuff”, but I think I am finally at a point where I can bring back some of that without it causing headaches for my family. I am pickier about what I share now, so I doubt it will be as deep as it used to be, but there might be more actual witchcraft posted here again. Crazy, I know!

I am probably going to give up on the small circles I was trying to create. I don’t have the energy or time to run a group or host space for others. I am going to go deep into my own practice. I will offer support through social media for people who need it by sharing rituals or ideas that others may find useful. I will be there to bounce ideas off of, I may continue to teach my 101 online when I have the desire to do so. When it fits my schedule I will try to get out to group stuff so I can connect, but I am not going to stress over it anymore.

My fierceness will come through in many different ways. The biggest way will be doing what I  want and taking care of myself. I know that the idea of self love and care can be a weird topic for many. I’m going to own it and be me. Cause, I fucking love who I am. That statement alone is a revolution in this world. Time to be me. Take it or leave it world. I don’t need your validation or permission.

The season of the witch is here. I’m going to own it.

 

 

 

 

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Mabon ritual

Mabon is on Friday so I thought I would share a simple ritual. Mabon is a time of gratitude and thanks for me, so this ritual is to express that gratitude as you prepare for the fall and winter. Feel  free to add to this ritual, change it up, or strip it down. I have tried to leave it super simple so you can customize it as you wish.

Mabon

Items needed: Candle, candle holder, lighter, incense or rattle, large bowl, paper cut in strips, pen, a small box or pouch, chalice/cup with beverage, plate with food, offering bowl/plate

Light your candle and set it on your altar. Then either light your incense or pick up your rattle. Walk around your space smudging or using the rattle to cleanse the space with its vibrations. As you walk, visualize creating a sacred space, the smoke or sound chasing any negative energy away.

At your altar take a moment to pause and take 3 deep breathes in and out.

Cast your circle: There are a variety of ways to do this, use whatever method feels best to you. A simple way is to walk the circle with your hand out, visualizing the circle being drawn with your hand. Remember to bring the circle up into a sphere, above and below.

Quarters: You can use these simple quarter calls or make up your own.

Facing the North call the North quarter.

Element of Earth, Guardian of the North

You are the strong mountains and the ground beneath our feet.

Use your strength to keep this circle safe.

Element of Earth, watch over this sacred space!

Blessed Be

Face the East and call the East quarter.

Element of Air, Guardian of the East

You are cool breezes and strong storms.

Use your strength to keep this circle safe.

Element of Air, watch over this sacred space!

Blessed Be

Face the South and call the South quarter.

Element of Fire, Guardian of the South

You are the heat of the sun and the light of the fire.

Use your strength to keep this circle safe.

Element of Fire, watch over this sacred space!

Blessed Be.

Face the West and call the West quarter.

Element of Water, Guardian of the West

You are cool waters and raindrops on the grass.

Use your strength to keep this circle safe.

Element of Water, watch over this sacred space!

Blessed Be

Invoke the Goddess and God: Some people work with both a Goddess and God, some only work with one. Use whatever feels right to you. At this time you are asking the Divine to join you, some may do this silently in prayer, others may read an invocation out loud, and some may say something simple. Whatever you use, whether you wrote it or if you found it online or in a book, really feel it and let your intention come through your words. Don’t worry if you think you sound silly, just speak from the heart.

Once you are done your sacred space is complete. Now is the time to do your working.

Sit down with your pen and strips of paper and think about the past year. What things stand out for you? Is there anything you are really grateful for? Are there things you want to honour? Changes you went through, lessons you learned? Write down something on each of the strips of paper.

Let yourself take all the time you need here.

Once you are satisfied, place all your strips of paper in the bowl and mix them up. Hold the bowl and say

“May these moments remind me of who I am and how far I have come. May they guide me when I feel lost. May the gratitude fill me and lead me to new and wonderful moments.”

Breathe deeply and then gently fold each strip and place them in a pouch or small box. When you are in need you can pull one out and use it as a divination tool or a gentle reminder to help get you through a tough moment.

Now is also a time for you to meditate or do any other work you may wish to do.

Pour your beverage (or if it’s already in the cup) hold your hand over it and visualize energy mingling with the liquid. Visualize whatever kind of energy you feel you need in your life. Lift the cup and say

“May I never thirst. May I be full of blessings and ____.” Drink deeply and then set the cup aside, leaving some liquid in it.

Hold your hands over your plate and visualize energy filling the food.

Say “May I never hunger. May I be full of blessings and _____.” Eat, leaving a small amount on the plate.

Place the remainder of the food in your offering bowl and pour the remaining liquid in. Say

“I offer this in gratitude. Thank you for the blessings I have in my life. Thank you for the energy and guidance you give. Blessed Be”

Set the plate aside. After your ritual either take it outside and leave it somewhere to dispose of it in a way that is safe for any animals in the area. If you do not have that option, then do whatever works best for you with your offerings. This may mean you eat it, it might mean you put it down the drain. Whatever feels right and is safe for you to do.

Thank the Goddess and God. As with invoking you want to say goodbye with intention and in a respectful way. Put the same energy into this as you did with the invocation. Speak from the heart, thank them for their energy and gifts and then say goodbye.

Release the quarters: Use these simple ones or make up your own.

Facing the North call the North quarter.

Element of Earth, Guardian of the North

Thank you for the gifts you brought to this circle.

Thank you for keeping this sacred space safe.

Element of Earth, I release you back to your realm. Go in peace.

Blessed Be

Face the East and call the East quarter.

Element of Air, Guardian of the East

Thank you for the gifts you brought to this circle.

Thank you for keeping this sacred space safe.

Element of Air, I release you back to your realm. Go in peace.

Blessed Be

Face the South and call the South quarter.

Element of Fire, Guardian of the South

Thank you for the gifts you brought to this circle.

Thank you for keeping this sacred space safe.

Element of Fire, I release you back to your realm. Go in peace.

Blessed Be

Face the West and call the West quarter.

Element of Water, Guardian of the West

Thank you for the gifts you brought to this circle.

Thank you for keeping this sacred space safe.

Element of Water, I release you back to your realm. Go in peace.

Blessed Be

Center yourself, pause, breathe and then cut your circle. You can either trace it back with your hand in reverse, or you can stand in one spot and slash through it with your hand visualizing the circle melting away or going back into the earth.

Your circle is open, your ritual is done.

Full moon dreams

As a new mom there isn’t a lot of sleep in my world. I suppose I am luckier than others, my son will sleep for large chunks, but it took us a year to get there. As someone who is an active dreamer, it has been very strange to have no dreams for a year.

The past few months they have been coming back. First, they came back with the stress dreams and nightmares that I think all new moms have. Now I am starting to have my normal strange dreams, the magic dreams and the silly dreams. Full moon through the leaves

Last night was magic. In my dream….. 

I walked out of a forest path to find myself on a sandy beach in a cove. The moon was shining high in the sky and it was all quiet. In the shallows I could see symbols stamped into the sand. I stood there and stretched my arms high above my head and soaked in the moonlight.

A noise brought my eyes to the shore across the cove where a baby bear came wandering out. Shortly after that, mama bear came out to stand on the beach. I stood there watching them and then reached for my phone to snap a photograph. As I zoomed in on the baby bear, a young wolf cub came out of the forest and began to play with the bear cub. At that point my dream brain thought “Hmm, maybe I should leave so that the mama animals don’t get angry with me.” That woke me enough that the dream shifted and I lost the sense of magic and instead had the sense of anxiety of getting away from the wild animals.

Both bear and wolf have meaning to me so I will meditate on the messages from them. I also remember the symbols I saw and will add that into the mix to see what the Goddess was sending me. I am dealing with a lot of change in my life, I know my stress and anxiety have been starting to climb, so it was really refreshing to have such a calm and meaningful dream.

I had tried to do a little spiritual work before bed, but I was so worn thin. The Goddess whispered in my ear “Go rest now” and I am glad I listened. The dream stayed with me and I can still feel the sense of relaxation. Have you ever had a dream that stuck with you like that? That was so calm and so perfectly normal, yet magickal?

I hope everyone had a magickal full moon and that you got what you needed from it.

 

 

 

 

June recap

My online 101 class starts soon. I was amazed at the response I had. I expected maybe 3 people, but I have 12! Awesome. I still have to load all the content and get it ready to send links out, but I will hopefully get that all done this week.

The little moon circles I was running took a break, but we’re going to start back up at the end of the month. It will be nice to connect in person again. I’ve been doing a bit or rearranging in the basement so I will hopefully make my temple space a bit more cozy.

June was so busy I didn’t get a chance to work on many craft projects. My Little Familiars did pretty well as soon as I launched them, I had several custom orders come through. I hope to get the foxes done this month and up in the store, along with some other kittens. I also have a few other plans in my brain, we’ll see how those work out. Right now it really comes down to having the time to sit and do things. The little man is teething again, and those back teeth are fighting him as they come in. Poor guy. So he needs many mommy snuggles.

I was lucky enough to take the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People training through my work. It was interesting to look at all the habits and see which I already did, which I needed to work on and which I needed to start. I am excited to put it all into practice. The most challenging part was creating my mission statement and looking at goals. I am terrible about goals and planning. I’ll have an idea and just go with it without sitting down to look at the full picture. Crafting my mission statement made me realize somethings were actually important to me that I hadn’t thought about. I’ve printed it and pinned it up in my cube to remind myself of all of this.

Litha was a non event really. I put an offering out, I did a full tarot reading for myself and that was it. I really do need to sit down and rework my Sabbat goals, they’ve gotten hazy with the little man involved.  I had some ideas written out, but then the computer died and I lost all that stuff. Time to redo and put them in my BOS.

I hope June was a good month for you all, are you ready to enjoy the summer?

Moon Magick at Work

The past few nights have been restless ones. The Moon energy has been calling and keeping several of us awake. This morning my son was determined to be up before our 5:30 am alarm. Caffiene for me today!

I have started to do a short 5 min flow of yoga in the morning and my son will sit with me and watch. Sometimes he does the “ha” breathing with me, sometimes he lifts his arms when I do, but usually he stands in front of me and snuggles in as I try to gently move around him. Sweet boy. He fills my heart.

I followed my intuition and packed up a mini altar to bring to work. I am blessed to work somewhere that I can be out and open about my faith. So I have set it up and it is in my line of sight, so all day long I will be reminded of my magick and the work I plan to do tonight.

Work Altar

I used my battery operated tea lights and have a selection of stones and crystals. I also brought in my Goddess Cards and we’ve been pulling them throughout the morning.

You can also see in the background a few of my digital downloads that are available in my etsy shop.

 

It is nice to have something just in my line of sight. Even as I type this I can see the orange of the altar cloth and the flickering light. Whenever I look at it fully I run through the short mantra I created. I am slowly building up the magick so that tonight when I do my ritual I will be energized.

Pagan altar with battery tealights and a Bast statue

I have been prepping to film my Wicca 101 course and that will be available online. It is free of charge, this is my service as a priestess. First I am re-arranging my sacred space so that the flow works better for me. I hope to get the large part of that done tonight and then next week start filming.

If you are interested or know someone who might wish to take a Wicca 101 please feel free to stop by my Facebook page to send me a message.

My Little Familiars are selling well, I have had several custom orders recently. I am so happy that people love them. Feel free to check out the two listed in the shop and let me know if you are interested in a custom.

And lastly a bit of love for other shops, I recently used my birthday money to get myself two pairs of earrings. I love them! One pair is leather and shaped to look like feathers and the other is a silver spiral.  You can check out their shops here and here. Woman in earrings

Happy Full Moon! Work your magick and have a wonderfully witchy day!

 

Names and the Moon

As a child I was obsessed with looking up what names meant. I loved to know what hidden meaning there was in a name and if they matched the people I knew. I was always so excited to know that my name had a cool meaning behind it and when I was older and got into Paganism it made me feel like it was fate. I was meant to be a witch. I remember playing on the porch at my dad’s house when I was 6 or 7 and telling my friends I wanted to be a witch when I grew up. Goal achieved little me. Way to go.

Of course the story of why I got named what I did wasn’t so cool. My mom just liked the name and had an albino rat with the same name. That is less mystical, but what do you do? Ha!

My given name Cynthia is Greek in origin. Quote below from Behindthename.com

Latinized form of Greek Κυνθια (Kynthia) which means “woman from Kynthos”. This was an epithet of the Greek moon goddess Artemis, given because Kynthos was the mountain on Delos on which she and her twin brother Apollo were born. It was not used as a given name until the Renaissance, and it did not become common in the English-speaking world until the 19th century.

I liked to tell people my name meant moon goddess as a baby pagan. We all went through that stage where we wanted everything to be super special, super woo woo and mystical. Everything is a sign at that point in our path. No judgement, we all go through it.  I also joked that this was the reason I had dayglow white skin. Glowing like the moon! It sounded better than “I’m just super, super pasty”.

Strangely, with this link to my name, I have never worked with the Greek Pantheon in any seriousness. I remember once pondering something about Hera and having Bast get seriously angry about how I wasn’t supposed to work with them. It felt like pantheon jealousy at the time, but I listened. Maybe it is something to re-visit sometime.

I do pay attention to the phases of the moon. I have tracked how I felt in the past and I know that around the Full Moon I don’t sleep well. I wake up feeling rested despite this, but the Full Moon energy gets in me and I am restless, wake up often and this phase is my time to get shit done.

Apparently my son has inherited this from me. Last month I was pondering why he had been sleeping so well and then had 3 days where he didn’t and why it felt like this cycle had happened before. Then I realized it was the 3 days of the Full Moon. So last night when he got super restless and full of energy I knew that he is a moon baby like his mama. I’ll track it for a few more months to make sure, but it is looking like he gets the moon crazies too.

Which funnily enough, his fave song from the newborn stage was “Werewolves of London” Awwwoooooo!

Bright blessings this Full Moon. I hope you get the rest you need!

 

 

 

Initiation musings

I was reading an excellent post on how you don’t have to be initiated and reasons why working solitary is great this morning and I started thinking about how every so often you see the round of “Do you have to be initiated to be a witch?”

I have worked in both non-hierarchical, non initiated groups and initiated, hierarchical groups. I’ve also been solitary. I’ve been around the witchy block as it were.

I’ve written before about initiation and how powerful it can be. I understand the yearning to feel like you are part of something. However, people need to think about the reason they want it and sit with that feeling to figure out if it is actually the right course of action for their spiritual path.

I had a friend who wanted to be initiated. She was determined to have someone else do it to have that experience and rushed into it. A very chaotic, disorganized person agreed to initiate them and it did not go the way they had hoped. Over the course of the next year she was very unfocused, could not settle, and was frustrated. She finally said to me one day “I think I made a mistake in having so and so initiate me”

When you are initiated you share energy. This is not something to do lightly. It is not something to rush. You want to really be sure you want this, be sure of the reasons for why you want this and be prepared to do the work. Research groups and their style of worship. Ask questions, learn all you can. Many groups have a dedication period first and that allows you to spend a year working with them to figure out if your energy meshes, if you like the people, if you like the way they work, if their group’s style actually works with your belief system and so on.

Be aware that not everyone is going to be on the same page as you. Not all witches are the same, not all covens or groups worship the same, sometimes it will take time to find the people that work with you. Don’t let someone else rush you into making a decision either. This is something that should mean something to you. Give it the time it deserves.

Initiation can be an amazing and powerful experience, but with it also comes a cleaning of the spiritual closet and a changing in your energies around you. You are putting an intention out into the universe and have to be prepared for the possibility of change.

It also doesn’t have to be done by another witch. There are many rituals out there to walk you through initiating yourself. If you aren’t sure of the groups around you and are sure it is the step you wish to take, then maybe self-initiation is the way to go. You can then create a ritual that really speaks to you and is going to work for the path you are on.

You also don’t have to be initiated to practice. Don’t let books, or blogs or other people make you feel your faith is lacking because you walk a different path. If you are satisfied and feel spiritually fulfilled then ignore anyone who tries to make you feel less. Your path is yours, walk it the way that feels right to you.