I’m behind on things. Such is life. We’ve been pretty focused on my little one and dealing with learning about his allergy. I do feel bad about ghosting out on people, some of my friends have needed more support then I have given. I’m going to work on that.
I was not in the Samhain mood this year. Halloween is my most favorite holiday and I had no cares. I know I have been pushing myself a little hard. Every spare moment has been spent either prepping for the craft fair or trying to keep my house under control. And with us all getting sick at different times it means things slide. Then my little dude had his anaphylactic moment and I entered high functioning panic mode for 2 weeks.
I also take on too much and I don’t ask for help. I’m working on that.
So I entered October already tired and meh, and then things got crazy and my stress levels went up. And work, well work has had its own challenges that sometimes come home in my mind.
I didn’t even make costumes this year. It was pretty bad. I did decorate, so there is that.
Halloween was mellow and while I did some of my ritual things, I was not in the mood. A week later I ran the public ritual at Elemental. I had a very simple ritual planned, and then I made it even more simple. I stripped it down bare bones, because a few weeks before I had begun to heavily question how I felt about my ritual style. Did I want to bring some of that out to a public ritual when I was struggling with if I felt it fit me still? I decided that no, I didn’t want to do that. So I re-wrote it and then began prep for the event.
The ritual itself went well. The group was a mixed group of pagans and they all seemed to enjoy it. People shared things and connected in the sacred space. I feel like as long as people got something out of it, then it was a success.
Do I feel like I gave it my A game? No, but I was tired, getting over a cold and not in the mood. I still put on my best party face and went out, but I would have rather been napping. Such is life. I think that is my motto now. “Rather be napping”
Hopefully next year I will be more in the spirit. I did manage to get my ancestor photos out for a day or two, I did re-ward the house, and I feel like I did turn the wheel a bit. However, it was not my best year.
I’m a little low on my usual cheerleader pep, but the last few months have been crazy. We’ll see if I get into the Yule spirit or not!