It has been a long week. The little dude and I both had a stomach bug for the first half of the week. That was the suck. It meant we had to miss seeing the tween’s performance, which was sad, but I will hopefully get to hear all about it from her this weekend.
Last weekend we took the gift card I had gotten from work and picked out a Mother’s Day shrub for me. We planted it and did some yard work with the toddler. That was an interesting experience. 1 part magic, 1 part exasperation. We also met some of the neighbours who have a little boy the same age. And I think they might be my kind of people, which is exciting.
I also managed to get out to the local Beltane ritual. With our schedule I don’t get out to a lot of things. Often stuff is planned for a weekend we have the tween and I can’t do witchy stuff then. So when this fell on a weekend I could go I marked it down and made sure I made it.
It is still awkward to go out to these things. I only know 2 people, and as you get older it is harder to get to know people. Why? I don’t know. So I went and stood around awkwardly for a bit, then chatted with 1 or 2 people. I noticed the person who was running the ritual was setting up so I went over to introduce myself. The ritual was a lot of fun, the person running it is more druid flavor so it was different. Lots of laughs and some magick.
There was a sweet little girl next to me in circle, who was very well-behaved and super excited by the ritual activity. I let her mom know how great she had been. She also had an amazing rainbow poncho on that I need in my life.
I’m going to try harder to get out to more stuff. I know the only way to get over my awkward is to do more things. Before the little dude was born I ran a ritual for them, and after he was born I managed to do one more, but it has been awhile. As I told my husband, the only way for me to do more is to get off my butt and do more. It is hard when we are tired, or have had a super crazy week.
The only way for me to find community is to make it, I’ve said that one million times here, and I want to support all the work some of my friends have been doing with this community. So I guess as the little dude gets older I will try harder. I am tired of being lonely and I am the only one who can fix that.