As my long time readers know, I left behind a large coven and large community when I moved to the United States. I have struggled in the 4.5 years I have been here to recreate what I had or to find like-minded groups. I am searching for something and I am not sure what it is.
I thought I had finally found it. My coven was small but it was slowly getting stronger. Then the past few months it very slowly fell apart. Not from drama or anything bad, just from us being at different points on our paths. We each needed something else. I won’t lie, it was a bit of a kick in the teeth. I felt like I was finally getting everything organized, I had finally re-written all my rituals and worked on all the things and was ready to have my tradition be born. I did my ritual, I set my intention and then it so very softly split apart.
As I sat in my temple space and pondered the nature of things, I realized this was probably a blessing. It lit the fire back in me to make sure I was working on my sacredness. Everything had been on hold while I was pregnant and now it was time for me to learn how to balance the mother and the priestess.
I was forced to re-think things. I stumbled across a free course run by Elle North and I enjoyed it. Ideas began to grow and then I found another free course run by Sora Surya No. I am currently working my way through the content and I am feeling so zen. The videos and discussions with these wonderful woman is reminding me to find the sacred within and how to keep the sacred in my business.
Granted, I don’t have a business yet, but there are seeds planted. Little things I could offer to help offset the cost of daycare and all the bills. Living paycheck to paycheck is not fun, but the blessing of my son is worth the struggle. I am getting more creative at how to be careful with our finances, learning what I actually need vs what I want.
I am also learning how to embrace sisterhood through the net. How to live in the online tribe of energy we can all share. I am reminded that I am not alone, that I can create new connections and everything will come to me if I ask and am open to receiving.
Breathe in, breath out and connect.