Old wounds and growth

March was a bit of a whirlwind. My Spring Equinox ritual went well. Everyone seemed to enjoy it and it was nice to get out and meet other people. I based the ritual around building community and hopefully my words will sink in, but I don’t know.

I’ve written about this before. I don’t particularly care about why the community blew up. What I care about is people letting go and moving forward. Healing only happens when people are ready, that I know, but there are days when I wonder if that will ever happen.

I have been in circle with people I can’t stand. When you go to large events it happens. I have learned to decide what is more important to me in the moment. Are my feelings so strong that I will just stew and focus on that the whole time? Or am I able to put that aside and just enjoy the ritual?

I spent a lot of time in Vancouver avoiding politics. I was friends with people who didn’t like each other. I did well at keeping my head down and just doing my thing. When I create an event I invite who I want. If people coming have issues with each other I expect them to police their feelings. I expect them to decide what is right for them. I do not want to have any drama. I was pretty lucky and didn’t have many issues. And I think the people around me learned that and respected that I was neutral ground.

Now I have to build that up again. I had a moment at my event. Someone came up to me and began a speech about stuff from the past. I shut it down quickly with a simple “That is your choice” I think they were expecting me to want to know more and take their side etc. Instead I let them know it was their business and their choice. I had other things to concentrate on and had 0 cares about old drama.

I am going to have to draw that line again I am sure.

People are going to have to deal with the fact that I will invite who I want to events. I will not be dragged down by things that happened years ago. It will be a tough line to walk. I am sure there will be some sort of drama at some point. I will just have to wait out the storm and then do my thing.

I think that perhaps the next group event I run will be about change. It will be about clearing out the stagnant energy. That seems to be part of the problem here. Stagnation. We need to sweep it out and make room for new growth and change.

And in the end I will find the right people to be part of my community. My group will find those who are like-minded and we will share space and we will grow.

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