Mid-fall update

Time is chugging along. What have I been doing?

The little dude can’t have dairy or soy so I have cut all of that from my diet. Between that and breastfeeding I am now 7 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight 5.5 months after giving birth. That’s fabulous, but I’ve had people lecture me about trying to get in shape too quickly and I’m left saying “I didn’t do anything, it all fell off”

And it is true. I am not doing anything extra, just my 10 mins of yoga and then lugging around an 18 lb baby. (Giant baby) I’m doing my best to eat a ton to keep up with it all, but these things happen. People need to chill.

The house is slowly being baby proofed as the little dude can wiggle and squirm his way all over pretty easily. We’ve been planning out the changes to the garden and we are looking forward to getting our Canada 150th anniversary tulips in the ground.

The tween has requested a Halloween costume so I have started work on that. I still don’t know what I am going to wear, but I’ll figure something out. The little dude’s costume was ordered and has arrived and we can’t wait to dress him up.

I’ve been writing rituals and mentally preparing for the next few months of spiritual work. I have ideas, I just need to sit down and take time for myself to get them done. Organization is important. Samhain is approaching quickly so I need to get that prep work done.

I hope everyone else is having a lovely fall!


Prepping for Mabon

The wheel is turning and some of these mornings have really felt like Fall! My coven mate and I met up to discuss admin/organizational things a few weeks ago. At that time I said “Well eventually I should get back out into the community to get to know people and have them get to know us” So of course the universe listened because now I am running the Mabon ritual for a community Mabon.

I kept it simple. Rather then doing a full Wiccan circle I am going to create sacred space with the help of everyone there. Getting people involved is fun and I hope it makes people feel more connected.

I have cleaned out space in the basement so that we can ritual without disrupting the hubby and the little dude. Eventually I will get a throw rug and privacy screens to make the space pretty, but for now we’ll pull a table out and ritual on the cement floor.

I’m excited to be back in the swing of things spiritually. I tried to keep doing some things while pregnant, but there was so much more going on in our life so it was difficult. And I think it was important to take that time to look inward and focus on the changes I was going through.

My plan is to not take any students on until next year, but I am aware that sometimes things happen. So I haven’t set anything in stone. I have some re-writing to do of things and organizing to do for the group and then there is that whole figuring out my time management for house stuff too.

The little dude is growing so fast. He’s already 4 months. Watching him learn things is so fascinating. I try not to post too many photos of him on Instagram, but there is the occasional one. He’s such a good little dude, we really are blessed. His big sister adores him and is really excited when she gets to have a cuddle with him. On one of our trips she fell asleep in the back seat holding his hand. My heart melted. So much love.

I hope you all are doing well and are getting ready for the changing of the seasons!



It is hard to believe it has been almost 9 weeks since I gave birth. People keep asking me if its like I expected it to be. I don’t really know what to tell them, I had no expectations going into this. Every child is different and every day is a new adventure.

I can say that we are so in love with our little boy. He is such an amazing little person. Listening to him try to copy the things we say is adorable. Watching his smile makes me smile. The hubby says he loves to watch us look at each other because there is so much love.

I hope to teach him all about different religions. I want him to explore and find the spirituality that fits with him. Yes, he’ll learn about my faith, but he’ll also go to church with Nana, we’ll explore other spiritual paths together and when he’s ready I hope he finds a faith that fills him with peace and joy.

The hubby and I have discussed different traditions we hope to build, traditions from our families we hope to blend and in the end we’ll hopefully have fun and meaningful things for our holidays.

I am feeling blessed in what we have. I give thanks for how things have worked out so far. I give thanks for the wonderful team that helped bring this little person into the world safely.

I haven’t had much chance to do things just for me. The few times I have managed to go and enter sacred space are few, but I have had a chance to do so. I am hopeful that I can get back into a regular routine with my spirituality.

I have ideas on how to build my temple space, it will just take time. And figuring out how to keep it private from the tween eyes will be a bit of a challenge, but I think I can do it. I’m also hopeful about the community of my coven and how we will grow. I will plant all these thoughts and blessings and do my best to water them daily with my gratitude.



And… It’s a boy!

Last week our little poppy seed finally arrived. Our little boy arrived in a more complicated way then planned, but we are all healthy. There were a few scary and stressful moments, but in the end we got through it. I am amazed at how many things I could have attached to me and in me, and how quickly an emergency c-section goes. Not the way we planned, but this is why my birth plan basically said “I’m aware this is a fluid situation and trust that the hospital team will do what is best for us”

He’s a precious little guy. As I predicted with all the redheads on both sides of the family, we have a wee little ginger. Hopefully all the red hair stays!

We are so in love with our little dude. His big sister got to come visit us in the hospital and she was super excited. It will be an interesting transition when we have her on the weekends, but I think it will be good.

Currently there is a lot of tired in the house, but we are napping when we can.




Still here

Every day for the last 2 weeks people have been calling, emailing or popping their heads into my office. “Still here?” they ask. Yes, yes I am still here and yes I am still full of baby.

Our official due date was May 14th so I am sure we will soon be meeting this little squirmy person. It has been interesting to me to see who has been so excited about this baby and who hasn’t been. Some of the faculty here have been crazy excited, and many of them were men. I wasn’t really expecting that, but it is cool.

My coworkers have been super supportive and wonderful. Even on the days I lean back in my chair and stare at the ceiling for chunks of time. I’ve taken many walks through the halls, visited the ice machine in our kitchens over and over, and had students and staff stop me to talk about the baby.

I have been very lucky. No one has invaded my space, no one has tried to touch me without my approval and while yes, there has been a lot of advice and many stories, it wasn’t as bad as I worried it would be.

I am missing having a spiritual/friend community, but I understood some time ago that I will not have the large and wonderful friend group and community here I had back home. At this point I think I’d be happy to have a few people in my life that are on the same wavelength that I am spiritual wise. I am sure people will be like “Well its not like you have gone out of your way to do anything” but when moving and making a baby there is only so much energy left over. I tried to make it out to a few events, and I even created a few of my own, and well they didn’t work out the way I had hoped. Such is life when you are the newcomer.

I’m not sure how my coven will work out with the baby. It will be a learning process, and we’ll see if I can even get things rolling again. I’ve been a bit focused inwards the last 9 months, but I feel that is appropriate for the journey I was taking.

I have pondered having a Wiccaning for the baby, but then I thought about it. Of the 4 or 5 pagans in town that I would actually want to invite, only 1 or 2 would most likely show up. People seem to have crazy schedules and I have had people cancel on me at the last minute many times since I moved here. I suppose I could have one with just myself and maybe family, but I don’t know.  I’ll play that one by ear.

For now I will continue to monitor squirmy mcsquirmster here and try to keep my energy up. I’ve continued to walk and move around a ton, despite how tired it can make me. I haven’t been stretching as much as I probably should, but I hit a point where it started to hurt with all the ligaments moving around or whatever they do. Bodies are weird.

The wee one is not so wee anymore so I’ll have to start calling her the tween. She has been very fascinated by my belly and the baby. It has been adorable watching her tell her dad to stop sassing me or to make me what I want etc because “SHES PREGNANT DAD” It makes us all giggle.




Your Silence Is Deafening: An Open Letter To the Target Boycotters

I rarely reblog, but this is well worth the read.

Drifting Through My Open Mind


I hear you.

You’re angry.

I get it, I’m angry too.

I’m not talking to the people who are angry at Target because their Pro Transgender bathroom policy flies in the face of their cherry picked moral compass. I’m not under any obligation  to respect their beliefs. 

I’m talking to you… the people who have no issue with sharing a bathroom with LGBT people. I’m talking to those of you who are speaking out about this bathroom policy, expressing concern over the women and children who you fear will be in danger because of this policy.

You’re reasonable people. You aren’t expressing hate or bigotry. You just worry. You worry about your kids, your wives, your sisters. I worry too.

I probably worry too much. I have always accompanied my younger kids to the bathroom in public places. When my son was too old to go into the women’s room, I…

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Goddess Dreams

Last week there wasn’t much sleep, but I did manage to have one interesting dream.

In the dream I was waiting in line in a public restroom. There were two ladies ahead of me and they were having a very detailed discussion about a life sized statue or something that they were trying to create of the Goddess Inanna. I listened in for a few moments and then broke into the conversation.

I told them how amazed I was to hear other people speaking of pagan things in public and how alone I had felt. They told me that there were more of us around then I realized and I had more support then I knew.

Then they instructed me to make 2 necklaces. One of red beads and one of white. I can’t remember why I was supposed to make the necklaces, but I could visualize them. So I suppose I’ll have to be on the look out for the correct beads.

It was interesting to me that it was Inanna. I have had very little contact with her, but the contact I have had was through a friend who is a super mom. I suppose that might be where the connection is coming through. While I wish to be as fierce and strong as she is, I know I’m going to do it in a different way. And that is ok.